someone once said that you should wake up every morning like you ment to. I'm stuck in a rut. I am blessed beyond reson but still I'm in a rut. Once you get so far down, you almost forget that there is ground above and stop trying to reach the ledge. Determination is somthing I have always possessed. If I wanted it, it was going to be mine.usually sooner than later. But I've hit a wall. I know what I want. I can't see the finish line but I know exactly where it is and I know exactly how to get there but my appathy drags me down. Is it the constant thoughts of past mistakes that keeps me in my seat? I've apologized. I've changed. I've been forgiven. So what? What is this weight that is holding me down. Stopping me from bolting from my chair and running towards the end goal. Pulling me back everytime I make a weak attempt. Fear? Anger?

Psalm 6:2-4 

 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
       O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

 My soul is in anguish.
       How long, O LORD, how long?

 Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
       save me because of your unfailing love